Author Archives: Tina Nugraheni

About Tina Nugraheni

i'm like a bird, like a sun...smile, laugh and love, let me be known as it is..as d reflection how He is working in my great life.

Why do you pray?

Why d you pray?

some ‘good’ people will say, ‘because we need it..to build our relationship with God’..bla..bla..bla…many good things about how great He is..

It’s not that i don’t believe it..I do!!, but tell me why you pray..the real from your heart..

habit?

what your parent teach you to?

you’re sad and begging of pampering?

you’re hoping for something?

you’re happy and need to say ‘thank you?’

Me? sometimes..i pray just because i’m afraid i forget how to pray..how to wish..and how to hope…ya..i’m afraid of being hopeless..that’s why sometimes i have feeling ‘i need to pray’..

Sounds too “me , myself and i” ?? yea..i’m not prayer..i’m not a good ‘child of God’..i am not..and i don’t pretend to


Protected: What that means to me

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me, failure, and rejection..

There’s something that keep ringing in my head from a conversation with friends of mine today, about how to face difficult moments , either failure or rejection..and which one is harder to face, well..we talked something more general..and i guess, for me..people may endure failure  better, and sometimes they are even motivated by..

But..sometimes, well many times, at least for me..facing rejection is not that simple, because it means we got to face the feeling of being unwanted, loosing the confidence, keep questioning what we do wrong when  we think we do good, questioning our capacity, value, or whatever good things that we are not confidence enough to claim we have…well, questioning of what we mean for and our existence is killing for me

And some people got the ways to overcome, some choose to pity themself, and say that they don’t want to be hypocrite wearing happy mask..some prefer to pretend nothing happen, and kick back the reality by keeping busy and roaming around, some prefer to get drunk to forget and cry when no one sees..

Me? i do those all! and i tell you, no matter what i have my smile on..how bout you then?


ICE 2012 We’re ready to give the best

Time runs sooo..sooo fast, it feels like just yesterday we got happy busy preparing the biggest annual event for us the Indonesia students here in NTUST, Indonesian Culture Exhibition 2011, (suddenly missing the memories, missing last year’s committees) but look..now we’re heading the ICE 2012..

Yesterday, Sunday Feb 26, 9 days before the ‘due date’ (march 5 – 7), we held the pre rehearsal for our performance night.It was tired, fun, challenging, and frustrating to realize so many detail things need to be fixed..but we did enjoy it..

and yeah it’s damn true that spirit gets the tired away..for some personal matters i couldn’t sleep at all the night before, slept like around 6.30 in the morning..with the panda eyes, annoying dizzy, (and some other friends were also so messed up, horrible tired) we run through the pre rehearsal started from 1 pm to 6.30 pm and continued with the evaluation  until midnight..tired! but we did it..we did it!

Apart from the performance, guess everything else is well prepared; performers – checked, costumes -checked, all the crews – checked, money and sponsor- checked..simply, i guess we’re ready to give the best..Crossing the fingers everything, all the restless effort will be paid with the successful event in the end! Kita bisa..kita pasti bisaaa!!


She..

Lie to her…surely he could..

Hurt her as he wants..surely he could

Things he doesn’t get..

She stays..she stays..always there..but her heart starts moving step by step into thousands..

I guess..she loves what she has..too much..

I guess..she loves herself..too much, not to be trampled..not to fall down to zero..to minus..

I guess she loves him, loves the way she loves him..not to be eased, into an anger

Thus…moving her heart away is the price she got to pay

She stops what she can stop..and saves what she should save..


Words of today…

words of the day

“There’s time when we think we want to disappear, but the truth is, we just want to be found”

“I feel, i know, i observe, i found, but i shut up..when you still lie, i enjoy how things turn around and enjoy to look how stupid you are..but..deep inside i suffer to realize how idiot i am”

Taipe, Feb 18th..10 C degree..

-hitting my own chest to let the breathless go away-


Interview at BCG

I had an interview today with a consulting company, Boston Consulting Groups, a worldwide reputation consulting company which offers such a good salary.

To be honest i tried this for a ‘nothing to loose’, though in the end i got excited and really want it after taking a look in to some websites about their reputation..and Leo’s interest on it, his excitement, somehow make me reconsider how big the company and the compensation they offer is..

Preparing myself for the interview…i changed my dress twice, with my own suit, i saw myself weird, so..in the last minutes i went to the next room of mine to try a luck if someone’s there so i can borrow her the suit, and lucky me..Fera was there, and great..she lent me hers, and kadabraah..that suited on me!

Took me like 30mins to dress up, i saw myself in the mirror and was cool..i loved how i looked until my friend simply said “where are you going? look so neat and formal..but…i don’t why..you..with your expression, with that suit..you..look so damn bitchy”  buahahahhaha..we both couldn’t stop laughing..i looked myself, my eyes make up, my long curly hair, my lips..well i know i am over confidence, but…really..i know i was cool and pretty..and i was confidence about myself..nothing’s wrong! so what if i look bitchy..the bitchy went on anyway :p

Scheduled at 17.45 i and Suci arrived to the location too early, was like 4.30, but anyway we went up, to register our attendance, and lucky us, seems like some applicants  didn’t come, so we didn’t need to wait longer and just got our turn after 15mins waiting

The Interview was conducted by a man which he didn’t even introduce himself, and he speaks only Japanese, so there was another woman as the interpreter who translated for him..mm..to be honest not so comfortable for me..but..no choice! the questions -were like informed by many others who had done- were general questions like: previous job experience, self introduction, why you want to join BCG, what consultant should do, the qualifications, what’s the most difficult time for you, how you overcome and deal with..and he closed it with a chance for me to ask him any question..and just crossed my mind i asked him ” how’s your life in BCG? do you enjoy? how you describe yourself there?” and he nicely described a lot..cool..it ended there, and he said that the result will be announced in 2 weeks.

Overall was a nice interview, even i think..much..much better if it can be conducted in English without interpreter..fhhhhh

And i think i did it well..not bad..about my chance? well..nothing to loose, i did all i could, my best..so…let’s the luck and God do the rest, because, as the person from company said, the company received “too many applicants” and it’s true, because i know a llooot of my friends applied for this, the company even needed to change and rearrange our interview schedule 3 times accordingly..mmm….so is like 1 among other hundreds. Que sera sera, whatever will be will be!


Protected: It’s just so real…

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No FB..but i’m here :)

I still receive some emails or chats questioning “why can’t i find you in FB?” or “why did you delete me from your friendlist in FB?” hehe.. I told you, i don’t delete anyone from my friend list..the truth..i deleted myself! no reason question please!

Not easy, because of that my cellphone rings more often, my chat: Y!M, Skype, MSN pop up new messages more often -and many times i need to pretend i’m off and put the invisible mode- , my email got more traffic …well..it is not because i’m famous (wanna be), but yeah..apparently i’m involved in some school activities, and some responsibilities are really required the coordination, and the worst thing is almost all meeting invitation, event invitation, sharing data and information are conducted in FB..so i’m almost totally lost and got no option but available myself in chat and cellphone..

but i’m here..always here..and my smile is always on..no matter what :)


Is a valentine….

Such a nice melting  Häagen-Dazs chocolate ice cream and a small cute box of chocolate, from a ‘new’ great and cool friend :D

Pretty pink rose from Chandra

a call from a friend, from exactly other part of the earth..olvin..

and i just realized..today is Valentine, Feb 14th..

hehe..i guess i’m just too old..ahh kinda missing the stupid simple and touching youth feeling..

and i remember “all you need is love..and a box of chocolate and flower!” hehe…it is always true, no matter how independent women are, there’s always such a romantic side left..and caring and love never fail work on it!

Thank you for making me remember guys :)

kisses..happy valentine for you who have faith in it :*


Amazing hair >.<

My hair is amazing!

hehe..i always love black hair, and never thought before to change my color..i did sometimes with spray temporary color for parties or to see how i look with hair colored..and most of it made me look more bitchy.. =)), so i decided black is just so me..and anyway yes thank God, my hair are so black..

But, you know what..sometimes we’re just bored, and maybe lil depressed…hehe..like i am..and i wanna change my hair color..so..i asked person in saloon i used to go when i was in Indonesia, what color can go on me, and she said would be difficult, because my pigment is strong and may need bleaching and several times coloring process if i do it in saloon…mmm..what d hell

and yeah..i’m bit crazy..so i did it by myself,  i bought a pack of wine purple hair color (brand: R*vlon) and experimented with myself, before rinsing i left it like 45 mins..and trataaaa….no result…my hair was still absolutely black! no changed at all..and my roomie told me that i may need to leave the dye longer like 2 hours..so exactly in the next day i did it again, this time with different brand (Sof*i) but still with the same color..go wine purple!. And as suggested i left the dye 2 hours before rinsing, and trataaa…i was a bit desperate..still!! the same black! just have a lil brownie on the up part!..huhhhh

But people know me, and how stubborn i am, i didn’t give up..i bought another pack, still with the same collor, but brighter…with different brand (L’o*eall) well i bought the most expensive one available in Watson..and yesterday i did the third coloring and i left it like 1 hour, you know what happened? STILL THE SAME BLACK!!! buuuuuu..i only have a lil reddies on the upper side..but the length part, and most of my hair are still the same black..

In the end..i give up!! hehe..3 times in row days is more than enough..maybe Leo is right..barbarian hair! the black pigment is just too strong..shhh

 


Dare to wish (?)…

“Be careful what you wish for, ‘Cause you just might get it all.”

Home – Christ Daughtry

Recognize the song? yap the lyric just rhymes so damn right to me..

Once i wished to feel, once i begged not to be cold heartless..

Be careful of what you wish…

It could strike you back..comes true abundantly…too much..uncontrolled..drives you mad and crazy, and you got to stop right away!

Because i do….and i’m stopping myself..mmm..well..i’m saving myself….

I do always choose wrong..or..life chooses me wrong….


Come what may..

Hey..I loose my appetite to write, feels like been ages i’m not here, not even check for the status update..nothing..

Well..i guess, i’m in the stage when i don’t even know what to write ans share, and i’m autism, busy with my own world..the world i have inside my head..and i guess it’s going to explode now..

New year came, the roman calendar and also the chinese calendar, but everything seems just the same for me..

My last semester here..but so far so slow, no significant progress, even to start my thesis, no movement to get some jobs..

Less traveling than before, spend more time with myself, internet, book and Leo..

Back to my previous hobby: cooking! i know i always love cooking, and the best part of it when we know other persons love our cook!

Got insomnia lately, and horrible nightmares..and again, some are to be told, some just to keep inside, because sometimes when we spell it out, we will sound like paranoid..what the hell!!! i don’t want the nightmares either!! people say it’s intuition, girl instinct..i say, yes maybe it’s true, i’m getting crazy so my mind walk cross the time and distance..

Loosing some confidence of myself..which is so not me..but shit happen, and i do question all things i thought i knew, but..well..did i? Do I? all the things i guessed i was ready, but well..i bet i know i’m not, all the things i was proud of myself but in the end, i’m just not good enough, all the dumb feeling are just back..i thought it left me, i thought i got cured..but no, years doesn’t cure..for other thing happen, it even strikes me more, down to minus..less than zero, there’s time i feel myself creepy..anyway i’m also questioning..what is ‘creepy’? something ‘not anymore’?….ohh don’t ask me!

Deactivate my Facebook, because for some reasons, my addicted to it, too much information given and shared are killing me..some cost too much to my heart, and that’s one of the way i need to save myself; disappear, stop taking a look, stop finding information that i don’t have to..

It is so damn true, to much information is killing us, thousands things that we better don’t know, and i guess i’m not strong enough to face the reality that i knew but i pretend i never knew, come what may…

The costs are just too much…and in the end, there’s thing that surely hell need to be saved, it’s myself!

Anyway getting back to our genuine life when people contact in person just sounds nice..lemme take my time..


Equality for me…

Working on my speech assignment for one of class about the oral presentation, I research some fact and data about women, because my topic for that speech is something that i am concern and interested about..about the equality..well..i prefer to call it smart equality between men and women, the career for women, and i found a classic proverb, but somehow always interesting for me:

Woman was created from the rib of man.
She was not made from his head to be above him,
nor was she made from his feet to be trampled on.
She was created out of his side to equal him,
under his arm to be protected by him
and near his heart to be loved.

I love the proverb..and somehow..just sounds so rhyme to me

Thread me equally,

Don’t give the stick to me..because once i’m in front, i may be too busy with myself and my own world, and suddenly just forget about you.

But..once you leave me..i will never force myself to run after you..my pride doesn’t let me to..
If you want to speed up..just tell me, take my hand..i’ll speed up myself to be by your side. you know that i am capable to..
Leaving me behind without a word is a waving goodbye to me..because i’m just a kinda too sensitive person, i will never beg for acceptance of my existence, i will just keep quite and turn my way out of your reach, even before you realize it.

I am selfish and difficult? i guess so..that’s the way how i protect my pride and dignity, and i know some people just can see me speechless..

-Tina-

in her mess and sleepy time, Taipe 2.21 am


Sensing the heartache…

People say, there are many things that can’t be solved by logic, nor sense..let’s say like feeling and heartache
But…
There are sometimes that we do really want to sense it, just to make it reasonable and easier to deal with..don’t you?
because i do..I am trying to sense how the heartache come up..i even make the research what the hormones involve into, scientifically reasons behind the heartbreak, and tears.. and this explanation sounds make sense for me

But..again..somehow..there many things unsolved
somebody tell me please..
why such simple words, which sometimes i know are not meant to hurt could make something spread from inside my chest, choke up my throat and send tears to my eyes..and i have to fight to have a bit cough to clear my throat , blink my eyes to wipe the tears away..and needs minutes to make it feels lighter and accept it that way..
If it does work, it may just leaves kind of hurt breathless, but the worst if it doesn’t work, it disturbs my mood, and leave some mark inside..

somebody tell me why…
somebody tell me, what things spread out from the chest, how to stop it..so i can stop hitting my own chest
I’m just too old to deal with…

And i really hate myself when such simple words and jokes even drive me to burst into tears..


perfection of the imperfect you…

What’s so special of being perfect? i rather say it’s boring…
But it doesn’t mean we let our self be stupid…
Stupid when we try to copy someone’s style
stupid when we live in shadow of someone’s wanna be
stupid when we drag ouself into who we are not just because we want to get acceptance of who we are not

Again, ask me what is the most insanity and idiotic people can do..i would absolutely answer, of not being yourself, or being copycat of someone else…

We are unique as ourself, the imperfection that we have even makes life colorful, it is beautiful, lovable, . They show our personality, of what we really are, they make us communicate in dealing and matching things with others..

stay what you are..stop being stupid copycat..
you are you..
you with your name
you with your face
you with your attitude
is just you
and that’s the perfect for me

Tina
in stage of being sick with the ‘copycater’
and sorry guys, i don’t deal with those people..ignoring is the best way i can do


you win over me..

I know, i’m mean
I’m not only being mean to people…
but the worst thing is i am also being so mean to myself, with consequences that sometimes make me cry inside or regret it a lot..but anyway..i just can do nothing..
all the things i know, there’s someone win over this all…
someone who i’ve been dealing with for like whole of my life, especially in the last 3 years..

Someone who keeps whispering

stay flat, put that smile on
don’t cry..don’t get into deep

thank you, and i win
sincerely yours,
-my pride-


(un)foretunately I am

Some people are good in covering emotion, and I guess, sometimes I am, I know, people think i’m just kinda outgoing people who is easily getting a long with something, and my emotion fluctuation, some people say, is just something easy to see from my expression and what i do and sing :) , that’s true..but the truth is, I’m not always that simple, there are many times, i can laugh while hiding things, or look okay and happy when I am not..But i tell you, there is one thing that i can never fake; treating people..i just can’t fake my attitude to people, i can’t pretend being nice to people if i know i just don’t like them

And (un)fortunately i never try to pretend about any any thing who i am not, i can’t be nice when i don’t like, all the best or maybe worst thing i can do is ignoring..yes, one more thing i realize recently, how i develop my ignorance level to something that even surprises myself. For me, when things are still worth to fight, no matter how it cost and how it hurts i will just fight for it, communicate, explain, and get apology once i am wrong..but, if i know my level of tolerance reach to the limit, i even stop my anger, and put those things into really nothing, and i just act it as really..really nothing, totally ignore

But look..listen, i don’t do it for no reason, i’m not kind of person who change the mood without any reason, there must be a reason, and when i don’t spell it out is just i don’t want to make something become awkward or i just feel that it’s just not worthy enough to receive my explanation..

What can I say…being me is this, i never pretend to be everybody’s favorite, everybody can hate me for any reason that they have, but, i tell you that the reason is never because i am stupid, because i know, i am not..i’m difficult person, i never demand for something perfect, but anyhow, i hate someone stupid..I know my movement, my ignorance, many times hurt people, but trust me..me, myself is sensitive person, so i know when I do wrong. Once i do wrong, i will really come for an apology, but once i know i am not wrong, i will just stay still and ‘enjoy’ how things run around..I just can’t fake myself, and sometimes, when thing is scratched, it may be healed, but somehow the mark is just there still…

mmmm.. I am stubborn.. yes i am


Let me be..

I don’t think that I am becoming over sensitive to everything thus easily burst into anger
I am always sensitive, it’s just the matter how i’ve been covering those all
and this is one of those days, when all i wanna do is just screaming out all the fucking damn cursing words in my mind, let me be..let me be someone normal, wouldn’t that be okay? anyway why should i care whether it’s okay or not okay..just let me be, when my okay means it’s hurt, when my nothing means something, and my back is my hide-away..let me be, because this smile doesn’t always suit on me!

Tina
-yearn for mom’s hug-


Nothing..bla..bla..

Though i said “hello..again” on my last post, but anyway it wasn’t really “hello”, been a while i don’t post any here..
and now, seeing my last post date even makes me more frustrated, how come for a person who express feeling better in words and writing have no time to write..

Busy for having 8 classes, 9 to attend actually, new challenge trying all the foods in Gongguan, but anyway, again, i haven’t done any review for weeks, having classic trouble with my stomach and now it reaches into point of full-for-4spoons, and nausea afterward, having some trips outside Taipe for i think i’m done with Taipe and around.

Mm..sounds nothing new interesting, but trust me..i have interesting days, some are in laughter, some boring,some in anger like now on
I am angry, just give me sometimes to calm down, and find myself back


Hello….again

Well..it’s been almost 2 months i haven’t written any words here..yeah, i went back to my country and lost my sense to write any.

If i might say, my summer vacation maybe not vacation that i want, but i’m happy i did it, My parent are not such in a good healthy condition, i can travel anytime i want here in Taiwan, thus while i’m home, i chose to spend almost all the 2months absolutely in home, accompanied my parent, totally full time for them. Sounds weird that in 2 months home i didn’t meet any friend, nor trip to any place, instead i spent all the times home talking with my parents, watching all the TV series either in my laptop or TV, eating all good food (mom cooked it and sometimes we went out for hunting food). Leaving the country for almost 1 year making me freaking miss the foods and turned me to machines who couldn’t stop chewing and finally gained my weight for 4kg..well..that’s the price, what should i say then

Now..i’m back to Taiwan, started the new semester with 7 courses and 1 course as a Teaching Assistant, well 8 courses to attend is just okay i think :)
Another semester’s started..new challenges’ in front..and new friends for sure.

Talking something new i have some new eager, like learning Chinese, even i know i’m so annoying for i keep asking question and asking friends (most of the time is Leo) to translate things to Chinese but..hehe..i like it. We, me and Leo also have new challenge to try all the restaurants in Gongguan, we don’t know for how long we’ll finish them all..seems it will not be soon in the near time even we eat every single day there..too many restaurants..but anyway we do like it, and we’d love to share the experience with you in another blog of ours called Taiwan Kitchen

That’s all..and yes..i’m here..i’m back!


Frustasi di Negara Yang Saya Cintai

Pertanyaan “Seberapa cinta kah kamu pada tanah air mu?” mungkin hal yang berulang ulang jadi saya tanyakan pada diri saya sendiri sekarang.

Setahun hidup di Taiwan untuk study, membuat saya sedikit banyak shock ketika saya pulang dan berencana menghabiskan masa summer break saya di kampung halaman, lepas dari kecintaan dan keinginan saya untuk menghabiskan waktu bersama keluarga, tapi..benar – benar saya harus bilang, hidup di negara saya sendiri sekarang membuat saya frustasi pada banyak hal.

Dimulai ketika saya menginjakkan kaki kembali ke tanah air, dan mengantri di loket imigrasi, saya cuma membatin “how come it takes so long for this fu*king checking, and why do they look not so kind to people” hal yang sangat berbeda ketika saya keluar dari Taiwan, dimana saya hanya memerlukan 1 menit 55 detik untuk bagasi, dan 2 menit 36 detik untuk proses di imigrasi dimulai sejak saya mengantri (saya sengaja menghitung waktu nya) jadi total saya hanya memerlukan kurang dari 5 menit untuk semua proses ‘birokrasi’ dan dengan bonus petugasnya yang ramah dan penuh senyum membuat semua terasa mudah. Jadi bisa dibayangkan betapa dongkol saya masuk ke negara saya sendiri (saking dongkol dan campuran excited bertemu keluarga saya lupa untuk menghitung waktu, tapi percayalah, lamaaa..)belum lagi ketika saya harus mengantri bagasi sekitar 1 jam dan menyadari seseorang mengambil bagasi saya dan saya harus spend some times untuk berdebat bahwa itu adalah bagasi saya dengan percakapan kurang lebih seperti ini

Saya (S): Bapak, maaf, bapak mengambil bagasi saya..ini punya saya (muka sudah masam kesaaal)
Bapak2 (B): Lho..ini punya saya, saya ada nomornya
S: Oke..kalau itu punya bapak, buka sekarang kunci kombinasinya, kalo bisa saya kasih itu barang..beres (muka judes)
B: waaah…(saya potong dengan maju dan membuka kunci kombinasi koper saya, dan voilaa terbuka..of course it’s mine!!)
S: see?? Ini punya saya..saya bawa, jangan suka ambil barang orang dong (dengan mengacungkan gembok di depan mukanya..i did mean it, i have no hospitality to jerk..sorry)

Saya dongkol, dan pikiran pertama saya adalah “sungguh berbeda dengan Taiwan” saya serius, hal ini sungguh berbeda, di Taiwan saya hampir bisa pastikan bahwa hal seperti ini tidak akan pernah terjadi, saya selalu merasa nyaman dan aman bepergian tanpa harus was was adanya copet ataupun pencuri, bahkan sekali waktu ketika teman saya ketinggalan barang di taxi, supir taxi nya menelfon dan mengirimkan barang tersebut kembali.

Lepas dari insiden koper, kemudian saya memasuki area bea cukai ketika semua koper musti diperiksa MANUAL, dan saya dengan tampang masam, karena petugasnya juga masam2 dan ga ramah, menunggu giliran saya, sampai ketika giliran saya Bapak petugas nya bertanya apa saya pelajar, dan ‘melepaskan’ begitu saja ketika saya bilang pelajar (thank God, I could save my time there) tapi di waktu bersamaan saya miris juga ketika beberapa mbak mbak yang adalah para pekerja (TKW) harus menjalani proses lebih rumit dengan tas dibuka dan dikeluarkan barang -barang nya satu persatu. Saya emosi tapi sudah terlalu capek dan emosi jiwa raga untuk protes, jadi saya berlalu, egois menikmati ‘privilege’ saya sebagai pelajar.

Jadi total saya membutuhkan sekitar 1.5 jam untuk keluar dari bandara Juanda, di negara saya tercinta..now tell me, how you think, then! Less than 5 minutes compare to more than 90 minutes..bahhh..This country do give bad first impression to people!

Tapi rupa nya keterkejutan saya tidak cukup berhenti di bandara, tapi dalam perjalanan pulang di mobil, yang saya terpaksa sedikit dongkol menerima keadaan, tapi harus cukup bersyukur dijemput jauh jauh dari Blitar (which takes like 4 hours driving) karena 2 orang yang menyupir mobil merokok dan AC mobil harus dimatikan, dan saya musti menghirup asap rokok bonus polusi knalpot jalanan yang ampun ampun. Katakanlah saya manja dan sok, but come on..1 year I live with no pollution of people smoking, dan polusi jalanan yang jelas jauuuuuh tidak ada apa apa nya dibanding disini, so what do you expect? Saya kesal, saya prihatin melihat polusi jalanan dan etika orang berkendaraan disini! I can’t explain much, but simply I can say how the traffic in Taiwan is totally different and absolutely better than here.

That’s my first day experience! Tentu saya mengalami banyak hal menakjubkan selepas saya berada di rumah, menikmati berbagai makanan lezat yang tidak akan bisa saya temukan di Taiwan, menikmati betapa uang masih sangat berharga disini, harga harga yang jauuh lebih terjangkau, dan yang jelas cuaca yang sangat bersahabat berbeda dengan panas neraka nya Taipe saat ini.

Tentu saya masih mencintai Negara ini, tanah dan tumpah darah saya, tempat dimana orang orang yang saya cintai berada, tapi merasakan hidup di negara maju selama 1 tahun ini membuat saya banyak berhayal, seandainya negara ini mampu menjadi sebersih Taiwan, dan fasilitas umum yang sebagus disana, etika masyarakat yang sebagus disana, dan kecanggihan teknologi sebagus disana, Negara ini jelas akan menjadi surga bagi saya.

Dan wajar ketika kemudian timbul perkataan “Jangan cuma membayangkan..lakukan sesuatu untuk membangun bangsa ini” dan saya juga jadi putus asa memikirkan nya, kalau sekarang saya sudah uring uringan dengan akses internet yang super supeeeeeerrrr lambat (1/10 dari apa yang saya dapat di Taiwan), saya sering freak out kalau hidup sebulan di negara ini dengan koneksi seperti ini saya bisa jadi gila sendiri,dan saya sering frustasi dengan segala pelayanan publik, dan banyak hal disini..Jadi, kalau saya jadi gila bagaimana saya bisa hidup dan membangun negara ini?

Kenyataannya, cukup dengan setahun hidup di luar negeri membuat saya meragukan kapasitas saya untuk bisa hidup di negeri saya sendiri. Ironis, saya miris untuk mengakui nya, tapi inilah kenyataannya!

also published @ http://lifestyle.kompasiana.com/catatan/2011/07/28/frustasi-di-negara-yang-saya-cintai/


Travelling; My dream, my desire :)

Ask me what my hobbies are, Books and travelling are always there!
And now I’m going to talk about travelling, my dream, and my biggest desire. I love travelling for many many reasons, some are just classic reasons like many other travelers have, and some are just my own crazy reasons :D .

For me travelling is life itself, in travelling I feel like finding what life is, I meet various people, and how they behave and think, I find a lot of new things, that sometimes I didn’t expect they exist, and all those experiences make me learn to keep my mind open, and teach me to tolerate more to people.

There are many times when I feel saturated, tired with all the things happen to me, and the things I run for is travelling, getting out of the ‘world’ for a while, enjoy God creatures, and at the same times I find God there, through all the creatures, and all its interactions.

I have hundreds places in list that I want to visit. And now, there’s a contest with travelling to 4 big cities in Asia as the main prize, and of course I give a try on it, we will never know when the luck comes to us, and I’m kinda person who always believe in the power of dream. So..please help me to make my dream, my desire in travelling come true by voting my page here

TINA NUGRAHENI – IT Traveller 2011

If you can’t access that link, just copy this link to your browser :)
http://www.ittravelersgo.com/index.php?option=com_contestgallery&view=detail&id=5776&Itemid=2&lang=id

and every click you put is sooo appreciated
Always with love

Tina


I don’t know, what the title can be

This post is written during the flight on my way home, Indonesia. The mini television in front of me shows that it is 1 hour and 21 minutes left for me to step my feet on the land i belong to, while the music from my headset is playing Take That’s song: Back for good, the song that i intentionally chose because it is in easy mood song choices..i need an easy mood, for my mood is not easy, and somehow the tears come out and i just hardly stop tearing for reason that i don’t quite understand, or I don’t wanna to confess, maybe…
The thing i understand, times flies so..so fast, a goodbye for the new hello, i’m sure
I know I can’t stop the destiny in bringing me to the new steps, something left untold there, somewhere in past, and somethings just covered in mystery, in somewhere in the future -damn hell, i can’t stop tearing-

-me, uneasy, in somewhere up above my motherland-


Yes, She is amazing

She is amazing
She is wonderful
She is beautiful, inside and outside
She is love
She is merciful

Yes she is..and i will never be tired to admit and say it again, and again..
She always teaches me that all the worst thing in the world if i live loveless and merciless.., and once in the morning she updated a status in FB (she is FB addicted, like me)

“Doa tulus di pagi hariku moga smua mantan pacar anak2ku diberikan kesehatan,kesuksesan dan lapang hati dalam menjalani hidup ini…smuanya dah tersurat dalam Rencana Allah …Percayalah Rencana Allah kan Indah Pada Saatnya…GBU ALL”
(i do copy and paste from her page) and lemme write that in English:
“My sincerely pray in the morning, may all my children’s Ex -boyfriends/girlfriends- have healthy, success, and big hearted in living this life, the destiny has been written down in God’s way, and His plans are good in His time, GBU all”

I have no idea what made her wrote that..
and what i did was; I put comment on her and said “nggak tak amini ya ma” (“i can’t agree and say amen Ma.”) i meant it as a joke (did I? :p), but look..how great she is, how merciful she wants us to be…
I may not be able as great as her, yet I wanna be..she is my inspiration
and She is my Mama..Endang Tyas Eko Budiarti, the greatest woman ever for me..

Taipe, in the early morning, counting the hours to be home, to be in her arms again :)


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